I have been in a warfare of fighting to keep my home or return my home to a peaceful place. I have trying not to be a mouthpiece for satan . Parroting his lies is hard not to do sometimes because he extorts and perverts things to sound so reasonable. As our kids get older it seems so easy for one to provoke the other, or for a negative disposition to easily be grabbed and put on like the perfect fleece lined hoodie on a winterish Fall Ohio day.
I’ve been so fixated on the conflicts that its been hard to pray about much else wholeheartedly. I pour out myself for my family, and it is my honor to do it. I prayed as a child for my dream job as a wife and mother. I’m built for this!
Then today after still trying to make sense of the tension I realized that due to their maturity in other areas our kids are still kids. I have to stop hanging my hat on the need for true understanding and appreciation like I get from my husband. I have to not let the lack of involvement of most of extended family push me to find that need for deep connections with every new interaction with other ladies. That’s not fair to myself or their unsuspecting selves, but back to the kiddos.
The kids will not get where I am coming from sometimes. They will usually prioritize their stuff over my current emotions and rightly so in most respects. I have to release them from expecting them to think and act like adults, and I have to remember that well done good and faithful servant is reserved to ring out from one person’s lips, JESUS CHRIST. Not theirs!!!!!!!!! God bless our family and To God be the Glory. Remembering to Trust God Cry Repeat.
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