I got many emotions flooding my mind and welling up in my eyes. Have you ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired ? I’ve heard it said but I’m really having to confront the fact that I am tired of the same old mindset but claiming to be renewed . I can’t stop confessing the reasons I’ve still been captive to the venomous lies and psuedo identities.
You see I’ve let satan’s attempts to redefine my God established indentity to succeed . Ignoring the fact that he’s the father of lies .
So yesterday was hard for me because I mourned the lose of my chains. For the first time I allowed myself to give my past it’s eulogy. To have to figure out where to go from here without my baggage ,scars,and pain. To love me even now even at 300 plus pounds . To replace negatives with fully developed pictures of what the scriptures say I am. To not be ok with being used up only to refill and be emptied out again. Yes yesterday I gave the Emancipation Proclamation to my old self!!!!!! I was relieved to be freed, but much like a former slave bondage had a toxic yet familiarity to it. I literally was that family member at a funeral sobbing uncontrollably begging God to take me instead of me instead of the one who died but the irony was that I was wrestling God for the death of the very thing that would eventually psiphon the last bits of me spiritually.
Satan has been playing the long game since conception . He has taken pleasure it the constant stream of steal ,kill and destroy.
Until my Savior the Lord Jesus !!!!!! Became my leader, protector and Guider at the age of 18 , but it almost took 18 more for me to step out of the prison where I held myself allowing every demonic lie to make me hold the cell door shut and fight Christ for the keys re lock it because I could not possibly deserve forgiveness. I could not fully be pardoned for the life before I became His!! So yesterday I Mourned The Death Of My Past I denounced my allegiance to be satan’s mocking bird because so a man thinks so he is literally
and I invite you to make my yesterday your today!
Nh 2019

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